Yes, It's Nonsense.

No doubt profitable nonsense. What follows is a reply to a comment by one Andrew Webb on an InfoQ.com sales-pitch-as-technical-"journalism" puff piece. The piece was "reporting" on a study by Dr Donnie Berkholz of InfoQ.com. This kind of hucksterism is one of the most formidable barriers blocking our craft of software development from ever becoming a professional engineering discipline but, well, read on if you will.

Why here rather than on InfoQ? Simple: even though their reply-entry form states that <a> is an accepted HTML element in comments, it refused to accept any of the links I had in this post. Shoddy "journalism", neet shoddy Web development.

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Worse than nonsense; this was written for PHBs, likely as a tool to sell consulting hours training teams in the "more expressive" languages. Anybody who remembers Java's transition from a language and VM into a marketing platform, circa 1997-1998, has seen this done before and better.

Note that I am not talking about Dr Berkholz' original study, the link to which was buried in this puff piece. But there appears to be a real problem with the data that the study was based on from Ohloh. From what I've been able to see, the data covers a period of at least 15 years (late 1990s-present). Subversion(!) was used for 53 percent of the projects in the data set; when you add in now-Palaeolithic CVS, the share rises to nearly 2/3 of the projects covered by the data set.

Let me beat that timeframe to death one more time: In the last 20 years, we've gone through at least two major revolutions in the techniques mainstream developers use. Twenty years ago, if you mentioned "OOP" in half the corporate development centres in North America or Asia, the response would have been "what's wrong?" We as a craft, we were just beginning to get our minds wrapped around object-oriented software development, moving it out of its metaphorical Bronze Age, when the larger revolution which that enabled, BDD/TDD/whatever your flavour of Agile, hit like a silver tsunami. Twenty years ago, I was writing "C/C++", Fortran and Ada code, using various odd bits of version control (anybody else remember how good SourceSafe was before Microsoft bought it?), and checking in massive commits, because centralised SCM systems like SourceSafe, CVS and RCS are a pain; seen less as a design/team-support tool than an insurance policy against Raj's hard drive being wiped by some virus or other. Network connectivity was not as omnipresent, reliable or fast as it is today, by several orders of magnitude.

Nowadays, regardless of what language you're in, you're (hopefully) using some form of agile process. You're strongly encouraged to tunnel in, specifying the smallest change that could possibly fail, and then implement just enough code to make that spec pass. You're not going to check in thousands (or even hundreds) of lines of code at one go; you're going to build that feature you're working on over several commits, on a branch of your SCM tree, and then merge it back into the mainline when it's done. The last ten PHP projects I worked on, over a six-year period, averaged less than 50 lines per commit – in one of the most overly verbose languages since ALGOL 68 and COBOL.

Changes in development practices, and tools, will hopelessly skew that data set unless additional controls are applied, and I could find no description of any. That, to me, says that this is, at best, an enjoyable-in-the-moment bit of data-mining with all the relevance to day-to-day developers' lives of the Magic 8-Ball.

This article was even worse; no examination of assumptions, no discussion of changing trends in the craft and industry, just a vacuous puff piece. An insult to the intelligence of the readers and, despite the possible flaws in the original study, to Dr Berkholz' work as well. If my mind could go take a hot shower to wash the oily residue off, it would. I used to think ZDNet was the bottom of the barrel for this sort of thing. I was wrong.

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NOTE: Earlier, I'd previously written "Twenty years ago, I was writing "C/C++", Fortran and Ada code, using Subversion", which is an anachronism, of course. Subversion came out in 2000, and I was not in a time warp in 1994. It just feels like I'd been using (used by?) it for that long.

Getting Your Stuff Done, or Stuff Done To You

This is the response I wanted to leave to "MrChimei" on the spot-on YouTube video, "Steve Jobs Vs. Steve Ballmer". Since YouTube has such a tiny (but understandable) limit on comment size, a proper response would not fit. Therefore...

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Let me put it this way. It doesn't matter whether you're speaking out of limited experience, or limited cognition, or what; your flippant attitude will not survive first contact with reality (to paraphrase von Moltke).

I'm a Windows developer who's been developing for Windows since Windows 1.0 was in early developer beta, on up to Windows 8. I had nearly ten years professional development experience on five platforms before I ever touched Windows. I had three stints at Microsoft back when that was cool, and sold most of my stock when it was still worth something.

I've also supported users of Windows and various operating systems, from groups of 3-5 small businesspeople on up to being comfortably high in the operational support pecking order in a Fortune 100 company. I've seen what helps and doesn't help intelligent non-geeks get their work done.

Both in that position, and in my own current work, I've observed and experienced order-of-magnitude-or-better differences in productivity, usability, reliability, supportability… all in Apple's favour. I've worked with and for people who became statistics junkies out of an emotional imperative to "prove" Windows better, in any way, than other systems. The next such individual I meet who succeeds, out of a sample of over 20 to date, will be the very first.

In 25 years, I have never experienced a Windows desktop machine that stayed up and fully functional for more than approximately 72 hours, *including* at Redmond, prior to a lightly-loaded Windows 7 system.

In the last 6 years of using Macs and clones half-time or better, I have never experienced a Mac that failed to stay up and working for less than a week. In the last five years, my notes show, I've had two occasions where a hard reset to the Mac I'm typing this on was necessary; both turned out to be hardware faults. Prior to Windows 7, any Windows PC that did not need to be hard-rebooted twice in a given fortnight was a rarity. Windows 7 stretched that out to 6 weeks, making it by far the most stable operating system Microsoft have shipped since Windows NT 3.51. (Which I will happily rave about at length to any who remember it.)

For many years, I too was a Windows bigot. The fact that Unix, then OS/2, then Mac OS had numerous benefits not available in Windows was completely beneath my attention threshold. The idea that (on average over a ten-year period) some 30% of my time seated at a Windows PC was devoted to something other than demonstrably useful or interesting activity was something that I, like the millions of others bombarded by Ziff-Davis and other Microsoft propaganda organs, took as the natural order of things.

Then I noticed that Mac users were having more fun. "Fine," I thought, "a toy should bring amusement above all." Then I noticed that they were getting more and better work done. "Well," I said to myself, "they're paying enough extra for it; they should get some return on their investment. I'm doing well enough as is."

And then, within the space of less than a year, all five of my Windows systems were damaged through outside attack. "Why," I asked. "I've kept my antivirus current. I've installed anti-spyware and a personal firewall in addition to the (consumer-grade) router and firewall connecting me to the Internet. I don't browse pr0n or known-dodgy sites. I apply all security patches as soon as they're released. Why am I going to lose this development contract for lack of usable systems?"

I discovered a nasty little secret: it's technically impossible to fully protect a Windows PC from attacks, using tools that a reasonably-bright eight-year-old can master in a Saturday afternoon. People responsible for keeping Windows PCs have known this for over a decade; it's why the more clueful ones talk about risk mitigation than prevention, with multi-layered recovery plans in place and tested rather than leaving all to chance. For as long as DSL and cable Internet connections have been available, it's taken less time to break into a new, "virgin" Windows PC than to fully patch and protect it against all currently-likely threats.

People used to think that using cocaine or smoking tobacco was healthy for you, too.

What I appreciate most about the Mac is that, no matter what, I can sit down in front of one and in a minute or less, be doing useful, interesting work. I don't have the instability of Windows. I don't have the sense that I'm using something that was designed for a completely different environment, as Windows too closely resembles the pre-network (let alone pre-Internet) use of isolated personal computers. Above all, I appreciate the consistency and usability that let me almost forget about the tools I'm using to work with my data, or with data out in the world somewhere, than on what I'm trying to accomplish.

One system treats its users as customers, whose time, efficiency and comfort are important and who know they have choices if they become dissatisfied. The other platform treats its users as inmates, who aren't going to leave no matter what... and if that's true, then quality sensibly takes a back seat to profitability.

Which would you recommend to your best friend? Or even to a respected enemy?

In Praise of Robust Tools and of The Future™

One of the best points about doing Web development in PHP is that it's so widely used; several respectable estimates by organizations that get paid to find these things out say that some varying number north of 50% of all sites on the World Wide Web use PHP as their implementation language. This includes numerous content management systems, or CMS, such as WordPress, Joomla! and Drupal.

One of the far-less-good points about doing Web development in PHP is that it's so widely used; the (evolving) "standard" set of tools, in true open-source fashion, are assembled and maintained by an ad-hoc band of individual and small-corporate luminaries, on infrastructure that worked just fine back when any given server was hit a couple of thousand times a year; by continuing to rely on (what to the outside Net appear to be) individual servers without terribly huge pipes connecting them to the larger Internet, the infrastructure completely fails when that's scaled up by a factor of a thousand or ten.

Web developers using PHP are highly dependent on an extension architecture/platform called PEAR, the "PHP Extension and Application Repository." Singular. Well, for any given extension or application, it's singular. So, as the user base scales upwards, popular tools that go through a vigorous release cycle, the servers they're hosted on (and network choke points between large subsets of users and those servers) start having reliability problems; transfers slow to a crawl, or fizzle out entirely. (One such transfer this evening proceeded at a sedate 600 bytes per second. Not kilobytes: bytes. That's 1980s dial-up speed.)

Developers in other languages have similar tools; Rubyists have gems available from sites like rubygems.org; Pythonistas have eggs. But somehow I hear a lot less grumbling, and do less of my own, when the subjects of gems or eggs come up; they seem to Just Work™ – which indicates that the network infrastructure is a lot more robust; either larger "pipes" and/or more, distributed servers such as with a CDN.

Trying to access servers like this from Second World cities like Singapore that apparently devote more resources to content filtering/monitoring than easing congestion doesn't help either. Hey, SingNet and M"D"A, how come it takes ten hops to get off an island that's barely that many miles across? If we want to plug Singapore into the "new global economy," having grotesquely under-resourced connections is not helpful.

But back to the main subject: If PHP is going to continue its phenomenally successful growth, then the infrastructure is going to have to decentralise, aggressively. Having essential tools like PEAR and the PHPUnit repository available only from a single point ensures that single points of failure will continue to seriously compromise the PHP ecosystem. No access to servers, no access to tools. No access to tools, then development of PHP artifacts with reasonable efficiency and economy is severely degraded.

In other words, the status quo is a limiting factor on future growth and success. However, as many will be quick to point out, building infrastructure costs money – for hardware, for connectivity, for the paid labour of skilled craftspeople and professionals to create, install, operate and maintain this enhanced infrastructure. No explicit means of funding such an endeavour presently exists, at least not to my knowledge.

So where do we go from here, PHP community?>

Those were the days, my friend...but they're OVER.

No, I'm not talking about Facebook and the idea that people should have some control over how their own information makes money for people they never imagined. That's another post. This is a shout out to the software folk out there, and the wannabe software folk, who wonder why nobody outside their own self-selecting circles seems to get excited about software anymore.

Back in the early days of personal computers, from 1977 to roughly 2000, hardware capabilities imposed a real upper limit on software performance and capabilities. More and more people bought more and more new computers so they could do more and more stuff that simply wasn't practical on the earlier models. Likewise, whenever any software package managed something revolutionary, or did something in a new way that goosed performance beyond what any competitor could deliver, that got attention...until the next generation of hardware meant that even middle-of-the-road software was "better" (by whatever measure) than the best of what could happen before.

After about 2000, the speed curve that the CPUs had been climbing flattened out quite a lot. CPU vendors like Intel and AMD changed the competition to more efficient designs and multi-core processors. Operating systems – Linux, Mac OS X and even Microsoft Windows – found ways to at least begin to take advantage of the new architectures by farming tasks out to different cores. Development tools went through changes as well; new or "rediscovered" languages like Python and Forth that could handle multiprocessing (usually by multithreading) or parallel processing became popular, and "legacy" languages like C++ and even COBOL now have multithreading libraries and/or extensions.

With a new (or at least revamped) set of tools in the toolbox, we software developers were ready to go forth and deliver great new multi-everything applications. Except, as we found out, there was one stubborn problem.

Most people (and firms) involved in software application development don't have the foggiest idea how to do multithreading efficiently, and even fewer can really wrap their heads around parallel processing. So, to draw an analogy, we have these nice, shiny new Porsche 997 GT3s being driven all over, but very few people know how to get the vehicle out of first gear.

I started thinking about this earlier this evening, as I read an article on Lloyd Chambers' Mac Performance Guide for Digital Photographers & Performance Addicts (pointed to in turn by Jason O'Grady and David Morgenstern's Speedtest article on ZDNet's Apple blog. One bit in Chambers' article particularly caught my eye:

With Photoshop CS4/CS5, there is also increased overhead with 8 cores due to CS5 implementation weakness; it’s just not very smart about knowing how many threads are useful, so it wastes time and memory allocating too many threads for tasks that won’t even benefit from them.

In case you've been stuck in Microsoft Office for Windows for the last 15 years, I'll translate for you: The crown-jewels application for Adobe, one of the oldest and largest non-mainframe software companies in history, has an architecture on its largest-selling target hardware platform that is either too primitive or defective to make efficient use of that platform. This is on a newly released version of a very mature product, that probably sells a similar proportion of Macs to the proportion of Windows PCs justified by Microsoft Office (which is even better on the Mac, by the way). Adobe are also infamous among Mac users and developers for dragging their feet horribly in supporting current technologies; CS5 is the first version of Adobe Creative Suite that even begins to support OS X natively – an OS which has been around since 2001.

I've known some of the guys developing for Adobe, and they're not stupid...even if they believe that their management could give codinghorror.com enough material to take it "all the way to CS50." But I don't recall even Dilbert's Pointy Haired Boss never actually told his team to code stupid, even if he did resort to bribery (PHB announces he'll pay $10 for every bug fix. Wally says, "Hooray! I'm gonna code me a minivan!"...i.e., several thousand [fixed] bugs).

No, Adobe folk aren't stupid, per se; they're just held back by the same forces that hold back too many in our craft...chiefly inertia and consistently being pushed to cut corners. Even (especially?) if you fire the existing team and ship the work off halfway around the world to a bunch of cheaper guys, that's a non-solution to only part of the problem. Consider, as a counterexample, medicine; in particular, open-heart surgery. Let's say that Dr. X develops a refinement to standard technique that dramatically improves success rates and survival lifetimes for heart patients he operates on. He, or a colleague under his direct instruction, will write up a paper or six that get published in professional journals – that nearly everybody connected with his profession reads. More research gets done that confirms the efficacy of his technique, and within a fairly short period of time, that knowledge becomes widespread among heart surgeons. Not (only) because the new kids coming up learned it in school, but because the experienced professionals got trained up as part of their continuing education, required to keep their certification and so on.

What does software development have in common with that – or in fact, with any profession? To qualify as a profession, on the level of the law, accounting, medicine, the military, or so on, a profession is generally seen as

• Individuals who maintain high standards of ethics and practice;

• who collectively act as gatekeepers by disciplining or disqualifying individuals who fail to maintain those standards;

• who have been found through impartial examination to hold sufficient mastery of a defined body of knowledge common to all qualified practitioners, including recent advances;

• that mastery being retained and renewed by regular continuing education of at least a minimum duration and scope throughout each segment of their careers;

• the cost of that continuing education being knowingly directly or indirectly subsidised by the professional's clients and/or employer;

• such that these professionals are recognised by the public at large as being exclusively capable of performing their duties with an assuredly high level of competence, diligence and care;

• and, in exchange for that exclusivity, give solemn, binding assurances that their professional activities will not in any way contravene the public good.

Whether every doctor (or accountant, or military officer, or lawyer) actually functions at that level at all times is less of a point than that that is what is expected and required; what defines them as being "a breed apart" from the casual hobbyist. For instance, in the US and most First World countries, an electrician or gas-fitter is required to be properly educated and licensed. This didn't happen just because some "activists" decided it was a good idea; it was a direct response to events like the New London School explosion. By contrast, in many other countries (such as Singapore, where I live now), there is no such requirement; it seems that anybody can go buy himself the equipment, buy a business license (so that the government is reassured they'll get their taxes), and he can start plastering stickers all over town with his name, cell phone number and "Electrical Repair" or whatever, and wait for customers to call.

Bringing this back to software, my point is this: there is currently no method to ensure that new knowledge is reliably disseminated among practitioners of what is now the craft of software development. And while true professionals have the legal right to refuse to do something in an unsafe or unethical manner (a civil engineer, for example, cannot sign off on a design that he has reason to believe would endanger public users/bystanders, and without properly-executed declarations by such an engineer, the project may not legally be built). Software developers have no such right. Even as software has a greater role in people's life from one day to the next, the process by which that software is designed, developed and maintained is just as ad hoc as the guy walking around Tampines stuffing advertisements for his brother's aircon-repair service under every door. (We get an amazing amount of such litter here.)

Adobe may eventually get Creative Suite fixed. Perhaps CS10 or even CS7 will deliver twice the performance on an 8-core processor than on a 4-core one. But they won't do it unless they can cost-justify the improvement, and the costs are going to be much higher than they might be in a world where efficient, modern software-development techniques were a professionally-enforced norm.

That world is not the one we live in, at least not today. My recurring fear is that it will take at least one New London fire with loss of life, or a software-induced BP Deep Horizon-class environmental catastrophe, for that to start to happen. And, as always, the first (several) iterations won't get it right – they'll be driven by politics and public opinion, two sources of unshakable opinion which have been proven time and again to be hostile to professional realities.

We need a better way. Now, if not sooner.

What's wrong with this picture?

Apple chose the only name that ever made sense for their new change-the-world device: the iPad.

So what's not to like about it? Well, that depends on who you are and what you really wanted this to be. No surprise there.

My biggest problem with it was summed up well by James Kendrick in his post, Thoughts on the iPad — Just Push the Buy Button, says Apple: it really is primarily about media consumption - i.e., paying big corporations for temporary, passive access to data. Something to switch your creative intellect off, not on.

And those of us who are often called the "Apple faithful" were hoping, praying if you will, for something so much more. Which in fact this could still be. But for the first time in Apple history, a product with serious computing power is being positioned in the marketplace such that creative, collaborative expression by individuals is almost a subversive act.

We've fallen a long, long way from "Think Different". And it's now much, much harder to argue that Apple is as much a computer company dedicated to creativity and the pursuit of excellence, than to argue that Apple has become "just another" corporate big-media company, helping to turn the Internet from what was once called "the greatest opportunity for expressive, collaborative democratic action in human history" into just another television set. Active creation becomes passive "consumption." All hail the primacy of content, and don't even think about upsetting the applecart. That would be Thinking (too) Differently.

The Debate between Adequacy and Excellence

I was clicking through my various feeds hooked into NetNewsWire, in this case The Apple Core column on ZDNet, when I came across this item, where the writer nicely summed up the perfectly understandable strategy Microsoft have always chosen and compared that with Apple and the Mac. Go read the original article (on Better Living without MS Office and then read the comment.

As I've commented on numerous times in this blog and elsewhere (notably here), I'm both very partial to open standards (meaning open data formats, but usually expressed in open source implementations) and to the Apple Mac. As I've said before, and as the experience of many, many users I've supported on all three platforms bears out, the Mac lets you get more done, with less effort and irritation along the way, than either Windows or Linux as both are presently constructed.

But the first two paragraphs of this guy's comment (and I'm sorry that the antispam measures on ZDNet apparently don't permit me to credit the author properly) made me sit up and take notice, because they are a great summation of how I currently feel about the competing systems:

The Macs vs. PC debate has been going on for about 25 years or so, but the underlying debate is much older. What we are really discussing is the difference between adequacy and excellence. While I doubt I would want to be friends with Frank Lloyd Wright or Steve Jobs, both represent the exciting belief in what is possible. While Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer rake in billions, their relative impact on the world of ideas is miniscule.

Bill Gates understands that business managers are on the whole are a practical, albeit uninspired and short-sighted bunch. By positioning Microsoft early on to ride into the enterprise with the implicit endorsement of one of the biggest, longest-lived, and influential suppliers of business equipment, Gates was able to secure Microsoft's future. Microsoft's goal has never seemed to me to be to change the world, only to provide a service that adequately meets business needs. Microsoft has also shown from early on a keen awareness that once you get people to use your product, your primary goal is not to innovate to keep your customers, but, rather to make leaving seem painful and even scary. Many companies do this, but Microsoft has refined this practice into an art.

He then expands on this theme for four more paragraphs, closing with

Practically speaking Microsoft is here to stay. But I am glad that Apple is still around to keep the computer from becoming dreary, to inspire people to take creative risks, to express themselves, and to embrace the idea that every day objects, even appliances like the computer, can be more than just the sum of their functions.

Aux barricades! it may or may not be, depending on your existing preferences and prejudices. But it does nicely sum up, more effectively and efficiently than I have been able to of late, the reasons why Apple is important as a force in the technology business. Not that Microsoft is under imminent threat of losing their lifeblood to Apple; their different ways of looking at the world and at the marketplace work against that more effectively than any regulator could. But the idea that excellence is and should be a goal in and of itself, that humanity has a moral obligation to "continually [reach] well past our grasp", should stir passion in anyone with a functioning imagination. Sure, Microsoft have a commanding lead in businesses, especially larger ones — though Apple's value proposition has become much better there in the last ten years or so; it's hard to fight the installed base, especially with an entrenched herd mentality among managers. But, we would argue, that does not argue that Apple have failed, any more than the small number of buildings designed by Frank Lloyd Wright and his direct professional disciples argue for his irrelevance in architecture. If nobody pushes the envelope, if nobody makes a habit of reaching beyond his grasp, how will the human condition ever improve? For as Shaw wrote,

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. All progress, therefore, depends upon the unreasonable man.

And that has been one of my favourite quotes for many years now.

Things that make you go 'Hmmmm', continued

Very much picking up from the mindset expressed in my earlier post... with the knowledge that this could (and probably should) be broken up into at least three different rants...

I've been working heavily in Python for the past couple of months, regrettably letting some other projects slide a bit. Now done with that, I spent yesterday picking up where I'd left off in a moderately-sized, reasonably well-designed PHP 5.2 project. (Bear in mind that my PHP experience is easily 5 or 6 times as much as my Python.)

And... while I'm not ready to jump on the "PHP sucks" bandwagon, it does feel clunky. Occasionally obscure (though never up to the standards of obscurity a good Perl hacker deals with every day).

Why is this? Three years ago, Joel Spolsky wrote an excellent rant on The Perils of JavaSchools. His point essentially boils down to that how you're trained (or "educated") as a developer shapes the way you look at problems; if all you know is a "Hammer", you try to visualize every problem as a "Nail" (even when it's a "Glass Figurine"). You may well have less-than-satisfying success with that view.

More importantly, the tools and techniques you know shape whether you can properly understand a problem at all. Not having certain features in a language (or not being knowledgeable in their use) means that you'll write clunky, hard-to-understand (and therefore -maintain) code to achieve the desired result...and wind up with (an attempt at) calculus using Roman numerals. Just as having a positional numeric system (e.g. Arabic or "modern" numerals) makes whole classes of problems possible that weren't otherwise, languages and their features make programming problems practical or more efficient.

What we don't want is one language that tries to do everything, in every way possible. We already have that; it's called Perl, and one ramification of its overriding philosophy, "There's more than one way to do it", is that there's always a better way to do it; the search for same can and often does suck in resources faster than a Sol-sized black hole. This also illustrates the failing of most of the more recent practitioners of software development that I've worked with. While those of us who've been working since before oh, about 1988 or 1990 generally make a point of reading at least one new technical book a month, I recently led a group of about 20 young (less than 5 years experience as of 2006) developers where not a single one admitted to reading more than one technical book a year since graduation. These people didn't know how to solve the problem we were working on because the two or three tools which they were familiar with encourage their users to think in ways that do not lead to effective solutions for this problem.

A language, any language, can really only do a limited number of things well. If you are fluent in more than one human language, say, English and Mandarin Chinese, think for a moment about concepts and sayings that are natural in one language but just don't work well in the other. Computer languages are like that, too, which is one reason why your computer's operating system is much less likely to be written in COBOL than your company's accounting program is (with benefits for all concerned).

Getting back to what started this rant....coming back to PHP after a sojourn in Python....

PHP gets the job done. Recent versions, particularly the current 5.2, are much more pleasant to work in than previous versions were for those of us who "think in objects". But it has taken years to get here.

As I look at one class in particular in this PHP project's code base, part of my mind is working on "if this were Python code, I'd write it like..." — and a two-hundred-line unit of code would be about 60 or 80, and much cleaner and easier to understand to boot. Why is that? Think "original intent".

PHP was originally developed as an adjunct to HTML for Web pages, to provide some simple dynamic content. It then "just growed", adding new features and capabilities (database access, object orientation) as it became used in a wider variety of problems. It is, quite simply, a tool that grew into a reasonably useful — if not quite general-purpose — language. There are a number of things it does quite well, especially since it can be used to do useful work without requiring a steep learning curve beforehand.

Python is different. A general-purpose language, with functional-programming features, it is useful for Web application development (e.g., with mod_python for the Apache Web server). Whereas Perl has the idea that "There's more than one way to do it" — and therefore neither a best way, nor strictly an advance certainty that anything in particular will work — Python argues that "there should be one — and preferably only one — obvious way to do it", whatever "it" is.

So am I suggesting that PHP developers ditch everything and go with Python? Of course not. What I am arguing is the seemingly quaint notion that developers, especially those who aspire to work in the craft for a living, should continually strive to learn new tools, techniques, languages and processes. Your abilities are like every other living thing; they're either growing, or they're dying.

Standard Standards Rant, Redux: Why the World-Wide Web Isn't "World-Wide" Any More

The "World Wide Web", to the degree that it was ever truly universal, has broken down dramatically over the last couple of years, and it's our mission as Web development professionals to stand up to the idiots that think that's a Good Thing. If they're inside our organization, either as managers or as non-(Web-)technical people, we should patiently explain why semantic markup, clean design, accessibility and (supporting all of the above) standards compliance are Good for Business. (As the mantra says, "Google is your most important blind customer," because your prospective customers who know what they're looking for but don't yet know who they're buying it from find you that way.) Modern design patterns also encourage more efficient use of bandwidth (that you're probably paying for), since there's less non-visible, non-semantic data in a properly designed nest of divs than in an equivalent TABLE structure. Modern design also encourages consistent design among related pages (one set of stylesheets for your entire site, one for your online product-brochure pages, and so on). Pages that look like they're related and are actually related reassure the user that he hasn't gotten lost in the bowels of your site (or strayed off into your competitor's). It's easier to make and test changes that affect a specified area within your site (and don't affect others). It's easier to add usability improvements, such as letting users control text size), when you've separated content (XHTML) from presentation (CSS and, in a pinch, JavaScript). Easier-to-use Web sites make happier users, who visit your site more often and for longer periods, and buy more of your stuff.

Experienced Web developers know all this, especially if they've been keeping up with the better design sites and blogs such as A List Apart. But marketing folks, (real) engineers and sales people don't, usually, and can't really be expected to -- any more than a typical Web guy knows about internal rate of return or plastic injection molding in manufacturing. But you should be able to have intelligent conversations with them, and show them why 1997 Web design isn't usually such a good idea any more. (For a quick Google-eye demo, try lynx).  Management, on the other hand, in the absence of PHBs and management by magazine, should at least be open to an elevator pitch. Make it a good one; use business value (that you can defend as needed after the pitch).

That's all fine, for dealing with entrenched obsolescence within your own organization. What about chauvinism outside — from sites you depend on professionally, socially or in some combination? For years, marginalized customers have quietly gone elsewhere, with at most a plaintive appeal to the offenders, pointing out that a good chunk of Windows usees don't browse with Internet Explorer anymore (check out the linked article; a major business-tech Website from 2004(!!); the arguments are much stronger now). But some companies, particularly Microsoft-sensitive media sites like CNet and its subsidiary ZDNet, still don't work right when viewed with major non-Windows browsers (even when the same browser, such as Opera or Safari, works just fine with that site from Windows). And then there are the sites for whom their Web presence is the entire company, but they haven't yet invested the resources into competent design required to take their site construction from a point-and-drool interface virtually incapable of producing standards-compliant work, and instead present a site that a) actively checks for IE and snarls at you if you're using anything else, and b) has their design so badly broken and inaccessible that people stay away in droves. (Yes, I'm looking at you — every click opens a new window).

When we encounter Web poison like this, we should take the following actions:

• Notify the site owner that we will use a better (compatible, accessible, etc.) site, with sufficient details that your problem can be reproduced (flamemail that just says "Teh site sux0rs, d00d!" is virtually guaranteed to be counterproductive);
• When you find an acceptable substitute, let that site's owners know how they earned your patronage. Send a brief thank-you note to one or two of their large advertisers (if any), as well as to the advertisers on the site you've left (if you know any). Politely thank them for supporting good Web sites, or remind them why their advertising won't be reaching you anymore (as appropriate);
• Finally, there really ought to be a site (if there isn't already) where people can leave categorized works/doesn't-work-for-me notes about sites they've visited. This sounds an awful lot like the original argument for Yahoo!; I can see where such a review site would either die of starvation or grow to consume massive resources. But praise and shame are powerful inducements in the offline world; it's long past time to wield them effectively online.

I'm sure that there are literally millions of sites with Web poison out there, and likely several "beware" sites as well. For the record, the two that wasted enough of my week this week to deserve special dishonor are ZDNet and JobStreet. Guys, even Microsoft doesn't lock people out and lock browsers up the way you do; I can browse MSDN and Hotmail just fine on my Mac, on an old PC with Linux, or on an Asus Eee. And if you need help, I and several thousand others like me are just an email away. :-)

Rant - can people at least engage brains before asking stupid questions? (Or: Paging Andy Rooney)

I read several different development blogs and message boards, such as those associated with phpclasses.org, codeproject.com, IBM DeveloperWorks, and so on. Usually pretty useful both for learning new techniques and keeping an eye on what other people are doing. Several of the boards, particularly on CodeProject, have been getting hot and bothered lately about the declining quality of questions being asked on the public lists; one large category of these is "affectionately" known as "homework questions'. These usually aren't for actual classwork. A more typical scenario seems to go like this: Sanjay is brought into an outsourced project because his agency assures the client that he's a hotshot — fully qualified in J2EE, PHP, XML, RPC and LSMFT (obviously a key qualification, but since the client HR person is neither technical nor over 40, it just appears to be "tech jargon.")

The client manager thinks, "I'll have to let a couple of my other guys go to stay in budget, but if this guy can save our bacon, it's worth it." Sanjay starts one bright Monday morning at 9.00,, gets the usual here's-where-things-are spiel, sits around (billing time) waiting for his computer to be set up and connected to the network (these things almost never happen before the warm body shows up), and by 1 PM is browsing the codebase for the project. By 1.30, he's on the Web, posting questions on sites that make it absolutely, crystal clear that he wouldn't know his ear from a hole in the ground if you gave him a flashlight, a map and six hours' head start.

The most extreme example of this I've personally witnessed was when I was part of a team consulting to a major Southeast Asian telecoms firm, working on integrating the homegrown billing system that one division used into the (telecom-)industry-standard one used by most of the rest of the company. This benefited greatly from knowledge of Java, of both Linux and Windows, and especially of the commercial system which was the target for the migration. The firm which produces this system, in true Java-ecosystem fashion, offers their own training which leads to certification in various aspects of the system. The team had a good mix of knowledge and experience, with the single yellow flag being that the major new-system expert was a member of the client's staff. After being encouraged to bring our own domain expert in (apparently so the client could reassign the existing one if desired), our headquarters (in India) found the "perfect guy". He had Java and J2EE certificates. He had a BSCS from "one of the top universities" in India. He had all the certifications the vendor offered. Oops, they were all for the previous version of the system....but this guy could, on paper, walk on water as far as our project's needs were concerned. So we flew him out from Bangalore. We had, as I recall, six weeks before major schedule slips would hit the fan.

A month later, my team manager and I sat watching this guy type in sample programs from the manual, try to build them, watch them fail, erase everything and start over. The manager said to me, "well, why don't you and (the junior guy on the team) start trying to pick up the pieces? Maybe you can pull something out." Then we noticed something else that was interesting. The client manager kept saying nice things about the "expert", how diligent and hardworking he was. He started taking the expert out for lunch and so on. My manager and I were in shock: this guy had already cut into the project for thousands of dollars and had yet to produce a single project artifact. Worse, in our view, his "experience" and "qualifications" were obviously complete fabrications. Headquarters (back in India), however, wouldn't send out a replacement because they had been told that the client was happy with the guy. We started looking around for brown-projectile-proof mackintoshes, anticipating the storm sure to come. And it did, eventually — shortly after the "expert" failed to follow explicit, idiot-proof instructions on how to extend his visa so he wouldn't have to go back home. Instead of buying a round-trip bus ticket to Singapore, he bought a one-way ticket, later claiming he wasn't sure which bus he'd want to take back up. The Singapore immigration officials blocked him from entering Singapore as they had no reasonable assurance of when he'd leave. The Malaysians wouldn't let him back in because his (tourist) visa had expired that day and he'd need to enter another country before reentering Malaysia. After several frantic midnight telephone calls and (I was later told) negotiation and pleas from our firm and the client, he was unceremoniously dumped on a plane back home, and our firm was billed for a full-fare coach ticket. The client manager became upset because his buddy, the "expert" was nowhere to be found and on no notice, at that.

Why am I blathering about all this now, several years after the event? My ire was raised by one of these "homework questions" I'd mentioned earlier, this time posted on the WeberDev general PHP forum. Entitled "Which is compatible PHP or Java with SQL SERVER 2005", the writer, using the nick "kumarsudu", starts out with...

Hi All, I would like to know which one is have compatible 1. PHP with SQL SERVER 2005 2. Java with SQL SERVER 2005 as i have to develop a project, ...

As another popular forum's members often ask, "how many WTFs are there in this message?" The mind reels. Asking totally nonsensical, absolutely open-ended questions on technical sites and lists is now at a flood stage not seen since the AOL infection of the Internet back in the early 1990s. The writer, besides the sterling specificity of the question as mentioned earlier, shows little knowledge of or interest in proper use of the English language (despite ample materials and information available online as well as off).

It pains me that:

• a person of such deliberate ignorance and lack of brilliance would not only choose to waste my and other readers' time with the request to do his work for him;
• any contracting agency would have such miserably low non-standards that this guy would even get the time of day, let alone a job for which there are an ample supply of other (by definition more qualified) candidates for (granted, they may have to raise their pay to a level higher than a fast-food burger-flipper);
• any client company would not only pay money for such an individual, but continue to do business with the "recruiter" that brought him in;
• there are no project-local, competent individuals whom this writer could ask for help, who would apply appropriate informational and organizational responses to the question; and finally
• that the prevailing business contempt of software development has sunk so low that this type of thing is more unusual for the fact that anyone bothered to notice it than that it happens at all. Would you want to fly with an airline whose pilots were the cheapest available, using forged certificates and qualifications to highlight (non-existent) experience? If your answer to that question is anything less emphatic than "hell no!," please inform me of your flying plans so that I may ensure that I am neither flying nor anywhere on the ground along your route during such a flight.

The "project" mentioned by the initial writer, if performed by individuals of this apparent calibre, is highly likely to fail — wasting the client's time and money, leaving the client wih a problem that still needs to be solved, and continuing to erode the opinions of the client and the client's associates of the business value of software, since, obviously "IT projects always fail."