Tuesday 31 August 2010

My reaction to the new, pico-sized iPod Nano

This is the content of a comment I originally posted on ZDNet, in the Talkback section for the article New iPod Nano rumored to shrink further, by Jason D. O'Grady.

Cupertino, CA (1 April 2012) (UPI) Apple Inc (s AAPL) today introduced the new iPod Implant, which is to replace both the existing Nano and Shuffle models.

At the launch event at the now-traditional Yerba Buena Center, retiring Chairman Emeritus Steven P. Jobs announced that the new device would be available immediately. Roughly the size and shape of two typical breath mints, the newest iPod model is designed to be implanted next to the user's cochleas where, using very low-powered vibrations, it plays stereophonic music which the user hears in "perfectly detailed clarity," according to Mr. Jobs.

Apple announced a partnership with The Curanderismo Group, a nationwide chain of medical practitioners who have been designated as "preferred installers" of the new device. At the event, Dr. Yuri Gallyutsinogenov, President of the Group, explained, "Installing the iPod Implant is a simple surgical procedure, which nearly all our practitioner members are now trained in. For the low, low price of $199, a customer can buy the new device and have it implanted on the same day by our specialists."

Mr. Jobs was quick to clarify that the price quoted by Dr. Gallyutsinogenov was just for the installation procedure. The iPod Implant, available with storage capacities of 8, 16 and 32 gigabytes (GB), is priced from $199 to $399 for the device itself.

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